Patriarchy Blues
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I wish I’d listened to the audiobook instead - Patriarchy Blues was a mix of prose, poetry, and essays that felt like they should be performed as monologues. No matter the format, each chapter was beautifully written and covered difficult topics with grace and empathy. It’s not escaping me that I - a white woman - am writing a review about a book in which the author - a black man - spends a lot of time talking about the importance of intersectionality and especially how white women often feel entitled to share our opinions about other (read: more) oppressed groups as if they were fact.
Frankly, there’s nothing I can say about this book that Frederick Joseph doesn’t cover in one of the chapters, and far better than I could hope to. Instead I’ll just say that books like Patriarchy Blues are why I participate in a stupid number of book
clubs. Left to my own devices I would still read a ton of books, but almost all of them would be escapism - fantasy or sci fi, safely removed from real life. This is because there is more incredible escapism out in the world than I’ll ever have time to read, but also because I am a coward at heart and books like this are hard. It’s not fun to see yourself reflected on a page in less than complimentary ways. It’s easy to close your eyes entirely, or pretend the book is talking about all the other people that look like me, or find some little detail to nitpick and pretend that means the entire book is wrong. But I’ve been working on learning to sit with discomfort. Learning to ask myself why, exactly, a specific page or passage makes me uncomfortable and how I can grow and be better in future.
This is a book to read and digest slowly - most of the chapters are short, so you can work through it in 5-10 minute installments every night before bed, or come to a bookclub ready to talk about which chapter you found most interesting. It would be good for anyone and everyone to read, but it might be best for young men. Joseph shares a lot of his personal journey and how anger is often the only emotion men are allowed to express. I’ve read a lot of books about the patriarchy written by women, and it was refreshing to find a book that feels like the first kernel of encouragement for change aimed at men. “I’ve been there,” Joseph says. “And it’s so much better to find your way out.”
I paired Patriarchy Blues with a Cosmo. It's a cocktail I remember always wanting to try when I first turned 21, but I was too embarrassed to order such a girly drink. Instead I would get the lightest beer the place had and pretend I was enjoying it. In honor of Frederick Joseph and smashing the patriarchy, enjoy a fruity, delicious, and aggressively pink drink!
Cosmo
Ingredients
1 ounce (2 tablespoons) vodka
1.5 ounces (3 tablespoons) 100% cranberry juice
½ ounce (1 tablespoon) triple sec
½ ounce (1 tablespoon) lemon juice
Lime wedge
Instructions
Place the vodka, cranberry juice, Cointreau, lemon juice, and syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake 15 seconds until cold. Strain the liquid into a martini glass. Squeeze with the lime wedge and serve, garnished with a lime wheel if desired.
